A Ridiculously Long Rant In The Wake Of The Muller Report Based On Nothing But My Own Opinion

It's been nearly impossible for me to blog since Trump.

Nothing is funny enough and nothing is smart enough. Plus, there is so much more important shit for both you and I to do other than reading/writing my blog. There is overeating. And gouging out our eyes after seeing photos of Donald getting a woody over Ivanka. Or sitting in the Oval Office.

 

And I'm not writing today because all of a sudden I am funny again. Or smart. I'm writing because if I don't let it out, I really might die of vitriol poisoning. My hope for young people is that they will not someday look back on Trump - the way my generation looks back on Nixon or Reagan or the Bushes - and realize that they didn't know how much worse it could get.

 

I look back on the Crusades and the pogroms and now think of them as mere bummers. My ancestors didn't have to listen to Sarah Huckabee Sanders spin her lies about the Mueller report. 

 

Which brings me to this post.

 

First of all - by way of a general welcome back -  fuck every Republican who is guilty of silent complicity. And, of course, fuck all of the ones who openly support this travesty of a presidential administration. And when I say, "fuck them", I mean, don't. Ever. Never fuck a Trump supporter. Unless you have crabs. Then, God bless. Fire away.

 

Second of all, seventeen indictments. Those who worked most closely with him have been indicted of crimes. Seventeen indictments. (Thank you, Aaron, for pointing that out to me when I was keening and tearing my garments.) That is not hiring the best, nor is it draining the swamp, nor it is anything but evidence that he either willingly surrounds himself with criminals, or he is too stupid to understand what they are doing. Pick one. Or both.

 

Third, even though he may have been able to protect himself from actual criminal activity (MAY have been able) in this one instance of Russian collusion, does not mean he isn't guilty of myriad other crimes on democracy. I heard someone on NPR say (regarding GOP's whiny refrain that this was a fishing expedition): we may not be able to get the whale, but we got a lot of toxic little fish, and that helps clean the water. (Or something like that. I wasn't paying full attention because I was driving. And eating an open-face avocado sandwich. And trying to remember where I was going. Even though I was in my bathing suit. ) And although I am slightly uncomfortable with the image of hooking a fish as something about which to rejoice, when I imagine the fish as racist and misogynistic and homophobic and anti-science and anti-critical thinking and the kind of fish who would, say, put babies in jail, then I'm cool with it. Just like how when I see Mitch McConnell's ugly face I could kick a turtle. (Which I wouldn't. But I would totally kick McConnell. He is one of the few GOP I think I could actually take down. He looks all weak in the quads, whereas my quads are my strength. I have have surprisingly strong abs although they are stealth - hidden beneath my layers of flab. And after I have kicked MMcC's wrinkly ass, I will hurt his feelings so bad that he won't have a satisfying bowel movements for weeks. (That will also be my parting curse on him). I am a Jewish mother. I have powers.

 

And of course, there's the issue of the credibility of Barr's book report. As someone who freely cherry picked through books to make my point in reports throughout my school years, I know how easy it is to manipulate words to create pretty much any narrative. Exhibit A, this post. Exhibit B, my senior thesis at UCSC (I graduated with honors). Exhibit C, my blog. And my life.

 

As for self-care, I commend each of you to stop watching or listening to Sarah Huckabee Sanders. At least, until there is a vaccine against her. I tell you, as sure as being gay causes typhoons, being exposed to SHS will kill you. It's just good science.

 

We cannot put all our hopes, dreams and eggs into that one beribboned basket that holds footage of Trump in shackles, defeated, being led to prison. That would be a wet dream beyond all fantasies, to be sure - and I would happily exchange the one of Dan Rather sitting on my lap while I feed him noodle kugel, for the Trump in prison one - but we must move on.

We have to, instead, peel the rotten layers off of the stinking onion that is his minions and discard each layer. Maybe Mr. Rotten To The Core (remember Crabby Appleton?) is gonna get away with it. I'm almost resolved about that. But every large and small victory, every large and small stinking fish that was caught in Mueller's net, is important news.

 

We live to fight another day.

 

 

 

Comments

[Peter Schink]

You go!