I've recently connected - via Facebook - with a friend I haven't seen in a million years. Such is beauty of Facebook. And now she wants to catch up and know what's new with me and get together for lunch or something. I might have to unfriend her.
I thought the whole point of Facebook is that you don't have to actually have conversations with people. I thought the point of Facebook is that life can now be lived solely in status updates and snarky comments and "likes". I really don't see a need for anything more.
I was hoping, frankly, that life will imitate art soon and we can just go about our daily lives clicking a "like" button on shit that pleases us. Slap a "like" button on every street corner.
And definitely, I see "like" buttons embedded into our foreheads so we can let others know if we are pleased or displeased to see them as we pass by. In fact, we can put "like" buttons on various parts of our bodies. I "like" your boobs and I am happy to see them. Or, I do not "like" your hair all Brazilian blow-outted and shit. Or, I "like" your left boob but not your right one. And it would totally cut down on all that explaining and negotiation and graphs and crap during sex. Either you "like" it or your don't.
No need for long conversations with people. No need to catch up - a person can simply peruse your list of "likes" from the past decade and know all she needs to know about you. No need to lose precious solitary TV watching time at home.
I mean, for fuck's sake, if I had it in me to catch someone up with the past sixteen years of my life, I'd forgo Facebook and meet them for a drink. I'd have a...whatsitcalled....friendship.
Maybe I am part robot or something. Am I dead inside? Can't a person have a healthy, nurturing, supportive, dynamic friendship without having to actually go out and socialize? Can't a person be part of a loving community without actually having to interact with people? No? Why the fuck not? A person can be, say, a Socialist without going to the meetings. Or you can be a member of Greenpeace and never set foot in a speedboat heading straight into a Japanese whaling ship. And I have personally been a dues paying member of Weight Watchers for years but have I ever, once, followed their eating plan? Or even lost a pound? No, I have not.
I rest my case.
Solidarity Sista! I am with you 100%. (Can you see the "like" on my face?
Posted by: Barbara | 06/06/2011 at 12:22 PM
Please agree never to meet me in person..I likewise pledge. You "like"?
Posted by: Irene Dawn Davenport | 06/06/2011 at 01:18 PM
I like you and follow you exclusively on your blog and facebook. So as much as I would love to meet you it isn't going to happen unless you arr in LA and I get to (where are you again :))?
Posted by: Madgew | 06/06/2011 at 02:35 PM
I really have no desire(nor the time, energy, or geographical proximity) to be your friend, but I think you are one of the damn funniest people I have ever read. :)
Posted by: Shannon Ralph | 06/06/2011 at 05:10 PM
I am so with you on this!
Posted by: Janet | 06/06/2011 at 06:55 PM
Now why did you have to go and visit my blog and be all....like...friendly?? Now I feel an inkling that maybe...just possibly...I mght want to be your friend after all. Way to screw up the system! :)
Posted by: Shannon Ralph | 06/07/2011 at 05:45 AM
Explain the boob thing again....I might just "like" that. What do you mean by different sizes? Do some women actually have the Surgeon put different size boobs in.......because that does seem wierd.
Posted by: John Doe | 06/08/2011 at 07:28 AM
Thank GOD someone had the balls to expose social media for the exhausting monster that it is! Every time I get a Friend request a chill runs down my spine!
Posted by: susan lynne | 06/08/2011 at 07:06 PM
Some years ago, I read about an actor/writer on "The Office" who only communicates with everyone on set via FB and I thought "How peculiar." Now I joined FB and I get it. Loved this blog. There is something so comforting and cozy about the printed word.
I will say, though, that if I had a speaking voice as beautiful and as sexy as yours, I'd always be posting little videos where I spoke off camera. Really.
Posted by: Claudia Reilly | 06/09/2011 at 09:20 PM