Robbing PETA to pay Carl

Kim Kardashian, please report to my office. You are in big trouble, Missy.

Oh, this not about your stupid life or your stupid show or your stupid family or even about that stupid, desperate "come hither" face you make for the cameras when you pretend to eat a turkey burger. I mean, sure, those are completely valid reasons you should never ever have achieved any measure of celebrity, but as long as you use your earnings from Carl's Jr to fund GLBT issues, well, God bless. Although, just between you and me, it wouldn't kill you to stop wearing fur. With your dark, swarthy looks, I bet you'd have enough of your own fur but for the weekly waxing, am I right? Why should mink have to die because you refuse to be warmed by the insulating back hair God gave you?

Oh, and I know that mink are mean mofo's in real life and a person would just as soon bitch slap one as have them to dinner, but still. They can't be much meaner than Lohan and I don't see you wearing her leg hair as a scarf.

No, Miss KK, my issue with you is this:

 "People have a lot of misconceptions about California. But none of them are really true."

Sound familiar? You said these words on television. That commercial for California. The one that stars your ponytail and your tan.

Read the sentence out loud, Kim. And really concentrate this time. Think. Think.

Now, perhaps I should tread lightly lest I set myself up as flawless when it comes to the language arts. I've been known to say shit like, "there was mistrust" instead of "there was distrust", and I've pluralized "aquarium" as "aquariums" instead of "aquaria". Oh, and I cannot for the life of me remember if a person lays down on a divan or lies down on a divan, or what the fuck a divan even is (the cousin of a settee?) but even I - a child of the 60's alternative educational system who never took a grammar class because my high school English requirement was fulfilled by writing a fan letter to Letty Cottin Pogrebin - even I know that a MISCONCEPTION is, by definition, NOT TRUE.

None of the misconceptions about California are true, Kim? Not even one?  Hunh. Go figure.

Okay, then. Point made.

Yup. Okaaaaaay then.

Hmm.

Now I feel kinda stupid making such a big deal over that. Especially with the war in Libya and the WalMart class action suit and everything else going on.

But I don't want to delete this. I spent two hours writing it.

So, you know what, Kim? This is my new point: stop wearing fur.

But way to go on supporting LGBT causes.

But no fur.

 

 

Comments

[Barbara]

I got stuck after thinking about a Lindsay Lohan leg hair scarf.

[Katherine]

Me too with the LL hair scarf. You should've moved that sentence to the end.

[Madge]

Too funny. And I live in LA. Believe it or not I coached KK in soccer for many years. She was an adorable sweet little girl. Who knew she would become this person I can't even take or understand? But her Mom was nuts but Dad was really wonderful until he carried the briefcase for OJ. Once went out to lunch with him and I took him to a Cuban restaurant. He had never had Cuban food. It was before the OJ stuff or I would have asked him what the hell was he thinking and what was really in the case. A little LA folklore for you.

[Karen Jackson]

...."insulting" back hair? Or did you mean "insulating"? If it was the latter, I can only say that you may owe KK an apology....(If it was indeed the word you intended to use, then please disregard this post and carry on....)

[sissy]

Oops. Right. Noted. Corrected.

[Morgan]

In the words of Sarah Palin, I refudiate this post!

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=128950842

also, maybe Kim, and Sarah, could bookmark this site (one of my personal favorites for snarky grammar correction - http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/errors.html#errors)

[smartass michelle]

Welcome to Safeways.