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As usual laughing my ass off (which would be a great thing). I don't do coffee ever but love the other chocolate goodies there.


Hey, if you want to know about caste systems, try being a TEA drinker at Starbucks. An iced tea drinker, at that. The baristas don't want to do ANYthing special for you. When I ask for mine without sweetener, they curl their lip and roll their eyes and put the sweetener in anyway. When I ask them meekly to shake the container for a few extra seconds so it really gets cold, they look at me as if I just asked them to shake it between their knees, like Jack Nicholson. It's enough to make a girl switch to coffee.


Since we are on the subject..on the occasion that I splurge and buy ice cream I force everyone on a diet and buy it in low cal/low fat ..last night Dave sets the container on the counter and levi points to the words and says 'what does that mean?'..dave responds "it means 1/2 fat". Levi's response...''t give me any...I don't want to be half fat!' What throws me is that we don't use that F word in the house anyway, but sure made for a good laugh!


" futile hope of a new recipe for Olestra that does not cause anal seepage, and Dick Cheney getting a soul."

This is your finest work yet. I bow to you.

Nina Rosenfeld

Did you know that baristas in a Chicago Starbucks organized with the IWW (International Workers of the World)? Fucking awesome.

In anticipation of moving to Starbucksistan, I'm learning their language. "Short" means small. "Venti" means big fucking cup of joe.

See you there pal.



"A man who puts three packets of Splenda in his latte is just asking to be beat up in the parking lot. A man who puts in four AND uses Half and Half may as well get a vagina.

A Venti one."

Abso-fucking-lutely brilliant. I am in awe."


If you want to feel good about yourself at a Starbucks, just go with me - I see no shame in ordering a Grande White Chocolate FULL FAT Mocha with Whip Cream, yes, please. And then I proudly march over to the table and ADD SUGAR. And all the MILFs giving me their simpering half-caff virgin-soy smiles can kiss my ass. You know, the one popping out of the back of my jeans that are held together with the rubber-band-through-the-button-hole trick.

Diane Hulme

I am in awe too, once I stopped laughing. You really are something! Brilliant, yes, that's the word for you my friend.


"We all step up to the station as equals, in that everyone feels superior to the people with whipped cream in their cups."

Truer words have NEVER been spoken!

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