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Oh no you di'nt.


Orbachs. I shopped there and until a year ago I had tights from them and when I went to Eastern Asia I happened to put them in my luggage and it was the coldest fall in 200 years. The tights were probably that old. They had no elastic so I held them on with my underwear on top and did a friend who used a pair too. Rest in peace Orbachs. I cheated a school day to have lunch and buy tights. Got caught and was suspended from high school until I brought my Mom in to testify that all those forged notes were signed by my Dad. She lied and then grounded me for a month. Thanks Ann for the walk down memory lane.

Irene Dawn Davenport

You're one funny bi-yatch, I wish we were hanging together at 13. I got busted for boosting some mascara around that time. It's just as well, I would have become a career criminal had it not been so bloody embarrassing. They took me to a little room and called my mother over the loudspeaker. "We have your thieving child in here." Maybe they didn't say that but I felt pretty crappy anyway and my mother was "very disappointed" in me.


You should've gone with me. Shoplifting at Orbach's (with an occasional foray into the May Co.) provided my entire wardrobe + holiday gifts for my siblings (including sweaters, as I recall). If I ever brought you a birthday gift in those days, that's where it came from. Never got caught... unlike when I was nabbed for filching quarters while working as a cashier in the school cafeteria. (New topic: how did they get us to work for free at school?).


YOU(?) were right?
And I(?) was WRONG??
I (??) should APOLOGIZE?!?

I still love that joke.
So, okay. SORRRRRRyyyyyyy.

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