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Not wanting to go somewhere when the moment arrives to go reminds me of how there is this place inside us where we are always saying "No." No to everything. The second we say "yes," the flip side of that "yes" starts to grow and the "no" gets louder and louder. What a wretched thing it is. I love the way my kids don't have that...yet, and my pets don't seem to have it at all. We are so afraid to commit, so afraid to do the things we say 'yes' to doing, even the fun, wonderful things. I was driving to a lunch with friends a couple days ago, having a hard time with the directions, and I kept thinking, "I should give up, go home, I don't even want to go have lunch." And of course lunch was wonderful, interesting, and I am glad I went. But that NOOOOOOO was so strong and awful.


I gotta tell you that Robin's excitement for your cleavage due to macular degeneration made me choke on my Good 'n' Plenties. If I get aspiration pneumonia from it, it will be your fault.


I have learned to say no with NO excuses. Comes with age. I will go nowhere that I don't want to go. Age allows me to say no and not worry. If I don't really want to go somewhere with "friends" maybe they really aren't my friends or I feel obligated to maintain the relationship. Not anymore-age lets me feel this and get rid of them. I am not atoning for one thing as I do it every day when I feel that I hurt someone's feelings or didn't listen well or spoke through interruption. I will even enjoy going to someone's else to break a fast I didn't follow.


I'm with Claudia on this one -- why do we say no to things that are totally fun? Okay, I'll own it -- why do *I* say no to things that are totally fun? And then sit around and whine (to the cats) that I never have any fun, and that no one loves me and never has and never will? Not that I really want true love anymore, but I have to admit the truth of what a friend once said to me, that the only way true love was ever going to come into my life was either if I left the house once in a while or if true love was wearing a brown uniform and delivering something I bought online. Let's start a Just Say Yes (and No Canceling Later) movement.


I love the "wearing a brown uniform" comment of Lunaea and I will join the "just say yes" movement except when it involves volunteering to go door to door for money for a worthy cause. Everything social, I am going to say YES. I decided this a few days ago and now have to go to 2 parties Saturday night but both are walking distance from my house. Isn't it easier to say YES when we don't have to drive?

Like Madge, I think NO is something we learn with age. There are some things we truly don't want to do and it's better to decline right away and a wistful and slightly mysterious "I just can't. I'm so, so sorry" seems to work best for me. And, like Barbara, I laughed so hard at that line Ann.


Yes! Claudia! The Miss Manners No has been part of my repertoire for decades -- the no that doesn't give any reasons, so no one can argue with it. Just "Oh, how nice, I would have loved to, but it's just impossible, I'm so sorry." Repeat as needed.


Cramps? All other excuses I buy.


Ann, I appreciate your list of excuses...I'll be taping them to my refrigerator.

John Doe

Yeah right....just say yes!!! Breaking News.... Ann Brown says yes

not likely based on what I've read here on this blog.

Wish I could say yes, but the cat's got my tongue...

Great blog though,

Just sayin'

ali ham

How old are you Madge? Just wondering how long i am going to have to wait.

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